Sunday, June 19, 2011

totally slack!

Mum says that I have been totally slack and I should write more. She's probably right but as I have said many times before SHE DOES THE TYPING 'cose I CAN'T so it's not me being slack at all. It's her!
She said she's been busy with her farm but I've never been to any farm and me and Hine are with her pretty much all the time so I dunno what she's talking about. Dad said not to worry, she's just having a Farmville binge on Facebook and she'll get over it.
I really don't know what they are talking about, all I do know is that heaps has been happening, it's going to take ages to catch up with all the news. The worst news is ........

She's still grumpy and she's still fat and Eddie and her still hate each other. Mum has to lock her in the bedroom when the BlackCats are out 'cose she said there would be big trouble otherwise. The other day FatPoo managed to give Mum the slip and meet up with Eddie at the garage door. Boy, fat cats can really move fast when they have to, I didn't think we'd ever see her again!!!
I was wrong, all Mum had to do was shake the cat bickies and FatPoo turned up again. Actually I think Eddie should have gotten the bickies for chasing her in the first place!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Liquid problems.

Mum seems to have had a bad day with wet stuff today.

First off we all went to the plantation so Dad and me could go for a ride on the bike (Dad rides, I run) Dad's water bottle leaked in the car and Mum ended up with a wet seat which meant she got a wet butt.

Then Mum and Hine went to the beach. When they got back to pick us up Mum bought herself a coffee which she then spilt on her knee when we went over a bump in the road.

Then this happened ........

......... this is going to be Mum's fish pond. She was going to get fish for it next week. Dad calls it 'the wooden mosquito hatchery' and when Mum started putting fresh water into it when we got home, it bubbled up like this. She said it looks like a witches cauldron. Dad had put bleach and dish washing liquid into it to kill the mossies and didn't tell her.

Well, she knows about it now!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Trouble ....

Mum says she's going right off us all. Dogs, cats and birds!

Yesterday we went to the dog park and Hine ran right into the back of Mum's leg. Boy did she yell! (Mum, not Hine) Apparently Hine's got a really bony head and Mum said it bloomin' hurt. She said it was a good thing she had her walking stick or she might have ended up falling on her butt.

The walking stick is another reason Mum's not too keen on us all at the moment. Last week Hine and I knocked it over and the end of it's beak broke off. I don't really know what all the fuss was about. It's not as if it actually used it's beak, it's a wooden stick after all!

Bird's beaks are obviously dangerous anyway. The other day we heard Mum 'Ouch' rather loudly when she was in the bird room. She was moving one of the big cages and Mousy bit her on the finger and made it bleed. She must have enjoyed making Mum say ouch 'cose she's been trying to bite her again ever since.

Mum said that if the BlackCats trip her up again by running through the house like tornados she's going to seriously think about bringing FatPoo home now and sending us all off to somewhere really horrible. I'm not too worried though 'cose she says she can't think of anywhere horrible enough that whould have us all.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


I was thinking the other day about how cold it was getting and Mum said that winter is coming and it'll get even colder. Then she said not to forget that FatPoo will be coming back 'cose Grandma and Grandad will be going back to America for the winter.


I don't even think we need to get her back, I mean look at these. Hine and I can barely get out the door without standing on a BlackCat, and there's even one missing in these photos. I'm also not forgetting that apart from hating any other cats FatPoo 'specialy HATES Eddie.

I can see that this winter is not only going to be cold, it's also going to involve cats doing an awful lot of screaming and yelling at each other!

Monday, April 18, 2011

last of the photos ....... YIPPEEE!!!

Mum says this is the last lot of photos. She said I should look at these ones 'cose next time they go there we might be allowed to go too. It looks rather awesome for dogs and Dad says that there is special place where we can go bike riding. Sounds like an OK sort of place really. The only problem I can see with that plan is that a cat lives there. Her name is Arnie and Mum says she's the boss of the hotel so we would have to behave and do what she tells us.

Why do all cats think they are the boss of us dogs?

Omakau Commercial Hotel

Sunday, April 17, 2011

more holiday photos ...... yawn!

I don't think Mum quite understands that I don't care about seeing photos of a stupid holiday that I didn't go on!

the Gondola, Queenstown

the Gypsy Fair. Wanaka

I think Dad must really like trees and water 'cose he takes lots of photos of them. Sometimes he must get sick of them though, 'cose then he takes pictures of old buildings and bridges. There's a bridge in these photos that Mum said must have been built especially for smelly dogs. She said that the top arch was for people in carraiges amd riding horses. The second one was for people walking and the bottom one was for smelly dogs, that's why it's in the water. I don't believe her but she says it's true. I believe anyone who writes stories about Wobblin Goblins could find it quite easy to tell fibs to her dog!

holiday photos ..... (boring!)

Mum has been sorting out the photos of their holiday. I think these ones are pretty boring so I'm quite pleased we stayed at home with Grandma. I didn't want to go and see a statue of a dog that's for sure!

Lake Tekapo

Old Cromwell

Friday, April 15, 2011

the holiday

Mum and Dad came home from the holiday. They were away for absolutely ages, at least four days! Grandma came and looked after me, Hine, the BlackCats and all the birds. Mum said she did so well that she can have the job of looking after us all every time they go away. Grandma said "no thanks" she didn't actually want the job.

Dad took lots of photos and Mum is going to sort them all out so we can see them properly. I did see this one which I think is a bit stink really. Why would you leave your own poor dog at home just to go and see a statue of a dog stuck up on a rock?

I don't know how long it's going to take Mum to sort out the photos, she seems to be on some strange sort of mission at the moment. Something to do with the $23 she came home from holiday with. She's even started a blog about it. Dad says not to worry though 'cose $23 won't last long and the house is too small to fit much more crap into.

Today we went out with her to pick up some of the crap she had bought. It wasn't very interesting except we did stop at the park for a run. We went to Grandma's for a gingernut bikkie each and I had to keep an eye on Hine 'cose she had such a good time at the park chasing birds I thought she was going to be stupid enough to jump off Grandma's deck to chase the birds as they flew pass. She's a bit dim really.

On the way home we even got to go to the beach. We were the only dogs there for ages. When I spotted another dog Hine and I ran over to see if he wanted to play chasing. He did but he wasn't very good at it 'cose he only had 3 legs. I'm not sure how he got to not have all his legs, probably had something to do with a vet messing up I guess. He probably only went in to get neutered!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ohhh NO!

I've just figured out what's been going on. Mum and Dad are going away and they're NOT taking us!!!!!!

Mum made us new beds in the kennels so I guess we have to sleep outside. Grandma came and Mum showed her how to feed all the birds and the BlackCats, then she showed her how to feed us. I knew we were going to be left behind then. I think Mum must be feeling a bit guilty about it though 'cose she bought me a new toy today.

It's gonna take waaaay more than an ugly green squeaky toy to make up for being abandoned! 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Poor Tia

It's not fair that Hine and I couldn't go with Mum 'cose she got to see Bonnie and Maddison and Tia. We haven't even met them yet. Mum said that's 'cose they live so far away. I bet if I had been there Maddison would have given me her sandwich, Mum says I'm really good at getting grandchildren to give up their lunch. Tia doesn't look like she'd be very interested in sandwich hunting. Mum says that Tia is getting old now and she has way better manners than Hine or me.


Maddison and Peter rabbit

I thought this was really cool and that Tia was the luckiest dog ever. A really big kennel and a digging pit, awesome! Mum told me not to be daft, Maddison's dad Grant, was building a playhouse for her next to her sandpit. Poor Tia!

Womble Farm

Mum has a cold. She's been sneezing and coughing ever since she came home after her weekend away. She said that going on a plane is the quickest way to catch bugs. I must tell Freak that 'cose he loves chasing bugs, especially butterflies.

Hine and I had to stay home and Dad had to look after us all by himself, he did OK but I think he was really happy when Mum came home. I don't know why Mum didn't take us, she showed me some photos and it looks like an awesome place for dogs where she stayed. My friends Charles and Arnie live there with lots of other animals and Mum's friend Julie. Look at this, they have their own dog park!!

Charlotte the pig and Wrinkles the sheep

Mum laughed at Julie 'cose she makes salads for Peter and Flopsy the rabbits and feeds them off plates. Mum said she thought they needed serviettes if they were going to be that posh. The rabbits may be posh but Eddie and Freak aren't and they were born at Womble farm. Mum took these photos of their Dad and their little sister Possum. I feel real sorry for Arnie and Charles 'cose even though they have their own dog park they have to live with heaps of catssssss!

There is Eddie and Freak's mum, Carli, their dad, Fluffybum, their older sister, Ginge, and their younger sister Possum. There are other cats as well. Mia, Precious and Lucky. Mum says that's 7 and that's not many at all. I say she should send all our cats there then 'cose I think living with 1 cat is too many!


Mum showed me a photo the other day of a duck drinking out of a dog bowl. Here she is, her name is Daisy and Mum says she's a very famous duck and it all has to do with something called the 'six degrees of seperation'

Six degrees of seperation refers to the idea that, if a person is one 'step' away from each person he or she knows and two 'steps' away from each person who is known by one of the people he or she knows, then everyone is no more than six 'steps' away from each person on Earth.

When Daisy was tiny she was rescued by a man called Tommy who sent her to live at Womble farm. Tommy used to be a stylist for someone called Micheal Jackson. I have no idea what a stylist is and I have no idea who Tommy or Micheal Jackson are but somehow all this goobly gook makes Daisy 'a famous duck'. She looks just like an ordinary duck to me and I guess being famous doesn't stop her from getting stuck on the wrong side of the garden gate either.

a famous but stuck duck!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Rainy Sunday

It's been a rainy day today and Mum said she's just wasted most of it trying to make my blog look fancy. It's taken her all afternoon to totally botch it up, lose half the 'stuff' down the sidebar and then try and put it all back the way it was before she started. She said that at least it looks like a dog did actually set it up. I'm not sure if that was a compliment or not.

Because it's been a rainy day and I was getting bored Dad took me out for a ride on the bike. I figured out that it's probably not a good idea to run in front of the bike to chase a cat, 'specially a black one, 'cose the bike ran over my toes. Ouch!

Hine stayed home with Mum and apparently is very good at doing the housework. Dad had dropped stuff on the kitchen floor and when Mum went to clean it up it was gone. Hine had eaten it. The fluff that had been swept up with it was gone too, Hine must have eaten that as well. She's a bit daft really. (Hine not Mum)

Mum showed me the photos of Lycan and Draven that she took last week. Grandad and her went down to Queenstown to help Jaben and Sarah move house. Actually, Grandad went to help and Mum just went to see Draven so she didn't help at all. I guess it will be quite awhile before I get to see Rizla and Squeak again 'cose Mum says Queenstown is a long, long way from here.

I'm getting a bit concerned about something .......what's with all these prison bars?!

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Well it's been rather boring for Hine and me lately so Mum said I should share some photos she found on her phone. I'm a bit upset 'cose there were no photos of me but of course there were photos of cats!



There's even a photo of Mum's friend's cat.
Boy, he makes FatPoo look like skinny Hine!


Miss Potter

Mum even has a photo of her friend's car on her phone. I can't believe there are none of me. And what about this one ....... a photo of a duck. Mum told me to stop complaining 'cose Arnie and Charles, the dogs that own the water bowl, have to share it with the duck.

Ewwwwww gross. That's worse than having Lycan playing in the big water bowl!

Mum showed me this photo of FatPoo. It took me ages to find her. I wonder if was eating Pukekos that made her fat?!

FatPoo & the Pukeko

Friday, March 11, 2011


Grandma and Grandad went home yesterday. They have power at their house now but still no water. Now that they have gone we don't get nearly as many treats as we were getting. Mum said Grandma spoilt us (me 'specially) and that it was a good thing that they have gone home otherwise I'd end up as fat as FatPoo.

Mum and Dad have put a 'prison' wall at the door. They said it was to stop us rushing inside every time we thought Grandma was going to give us something yummy. It totally sux 'cose now we can't get in at all. What's even worse is the BlackCats can get through the bars so they're inside all the time!





prison inmate #2

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Cheap tricks

Hine thinks she's smart 'cose she knows how to shake hands. I don't know what all the fuss is about and neither does Dad. Mum showed him what Hine could do and he said only stupid dogs do dopey things like that . Smart dogs know how to run beside a bike like I can. Hine can't do that.

Grandad asked if we could flick a biscuit off our noses into the air and catch it. He had a dog that could do that. I can't really see the point in doing that 'cose if I flicked a biscuit off my nose into the air I know Hine would grab it, the trick would be ruined and I wouldn't have a biscuit.
Perfectly simple reason why not to learn how to do stupid tricks really.

Monday, March 7, 2011

2 weeks tomorrow

Tomorrow it will be two weeks since the big earthquake. Mum showed us this photo that was taken of the city when it happened. She keeps saying everyone is dealing with it differently. Eating chocolate fudge is helping her get through the stress she reckons. I'm not sure how she's going to cope now. She finished it all yesterday!

At least she's had time to do some things on my blog. There are jigsaws that she's made at the bottom of the pages now and she put up a link so you can get to her writing blog as well. I think that's a great idea 'cose she won't use my blog to write stupid stories about Wobblin' Goblins and all the other rubbish she waffles on about.

I'm off outside, the sun's come out.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Earthquake safety

Mum has told us that when there is an earthquake we all have to get underneath something and hide. I don't think Freak quite got the message though.

Mum told him that hiding in a pillow case isn't going to be much help.

Stupid cat!


Yesterday Mum was getting ready to feed everyone (us everyones, not people everyones) when the lady next door came to visit. She came to ask Mum if we had a black cat 'cose a stray cat had turned up at her house after the first earthquake, she had been feeding it and trying to catch it to 'rescue' it.

Mum just laughed and took her into the cat room and said "which one is it?".

When she saw 3 fluffy black cats she didn't know who it was so Mum reckons that all of them have come up with a cunning plan and have been impersonating a feline refugee. They get to eat mince that the lady cooks for them so now Mum knows why they have started being really fussy about what they get for dinner here.

The neighbour lady doesn't like dogs so I don't think Hine and I have much chance of being 'rescued'. Mum said Hine would probably do better in a disaster 'cose she's so skinny and always looks starving so people would feel sorry for her. I've got a fat butt so I would be out of luck!

How rude!

BlackCats on Grandma and Grandad's bed!

Friday, March 4, 2011


Mum's been laughing lots today. She found a new Facebook page so she didn't get any of my blog blogged!


Draven Romeo
7lb 13oz

Mum's all excited 'cose the baby was born last night. Jaben and Sarah went away after the earthquake so he would be born somewhere safe.

Mum said it was about time something good happened.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


Mum said she is suppose to be cleaning up the house but she's been playing on the computer making things with photos. She made this to show me what Dino looked like. She told me she would make one of FatPoo but I said she'd better get on with the cleaning and not bother. I know what FatPoo looks like.

I think ....

FatPoo must have sneezed. Look, the hill's falling down.

Yesterday it was really windy and all the mud was turning to sand and blowing around everywhere. The wind was horrible, Hine and I stayed at home so I'm just telling you what Mum said it was like. She showed me this photo she found.

Grandma went up to her house and the wind had blown out the stuff that had been covering the big broken window. Now it's been all boarded up with wood so if it starts raining it will stay dry. When she came home she told us that it looked like someone had tried to break into the house. I wonder if they wanted to steal FatPoo, they would have to be very strong to pick her up!